did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
