Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
