whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
vagina is talking i cant
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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