Me. At least after what I've been through.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
