the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
