clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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