a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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