dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
