Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
