He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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