Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
