I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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