I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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