As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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