Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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