You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
