Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize