dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
