literally had 100 drinks last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
