Dual....:-)
I looked at my own cervix.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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