btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
