My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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