My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
