I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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