You surviving the open bar?
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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