cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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