And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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