Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
