if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize