In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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