I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
