Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
