Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
