shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is Oprah even human
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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