I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
birth control should be required to get into college
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
