I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
