why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
