hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
