I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
