but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize