with your own penis?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
