I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
