okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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