You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
