I wanna bring you to show and tell
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
