i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My ATM looks so different sober.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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