I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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