I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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