Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
