Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
