I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
