he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
