Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
