We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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