Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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