Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
