I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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