I CAN MOONWALK!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well most of my day revolves around power hour
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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