So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What drink are we having for lunch?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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