so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
