New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
