I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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