Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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