listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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