p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
