im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
