i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize