Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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