I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
