tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize