Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
