the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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