id be glad to
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
