I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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