Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
